As a qualified teacher, mum, parenting coach and all-round Early Years expert, Sophie has a wealth of practical, real life experience to share with parents.
As a mum of two and a registered GP, Stephanie has seen more than her fair share of little ones! She has lots of practical tips and professional know-how on hand to help parents.
Katie is a mum of one, and also our resident Nutritionist. Bringing over 12 years’ experience, and a passion for infant weaning and nutrition to our Expert Panel.
When a child has a tantrum, it’s because they don’t know how to process an event – and it can be as simple as an apple that was peeled the wrong way. Children struggle to express how they feel about certain situations and, unable to regulate themselves, they can experience an explosion of emotions which results in a meltdown moment.
General Practitioner Dr Stephanie Ooi says:
Tantrums are a very normal part of development, and it doesn’t mean that you were doing something wrong. They are not necessarily something that you can prevent.
Meltdown moments are normally a mixture of fear and confusion that has led to the explosion of emotions. The best thing you can do during or after a meltdown moment is to comfort your child.
It might feel like a very difficult thing to do in the moment, but it can be helpful for both of you.
General Practitioner Dr Stephanie Ooi says:
In an ideal world, you would stay calm, and bring that sense of calm to them – because that’s what they need. For the child, it’s like there are fireworks going off in their brain. They need someone to make them feel safe and secure and to tell them it’s okay.
You shouldn’t feel bad about having feelings of anger and frustration while your little one is experiencing a meltdown moment.
Early Years Child Development Specialist Sophie Pickles says:
It’s okay if you want to scream along with your child while they have a tantrum, because that’s just a natural response. We can feel so much pressure to be the gentle or calm parent 100% of the time, but we should never beat ourselves up about feeling frustrated.
As tempting as it is to avoid their triggers altogether, it won’t help your child in the long run because they will encounter those situations in the real world.
Early Years Child Development Specialist Sophie Pickles suggests:
You should set up situations in advance, so you can help them work through it. Use communication and talk to them about it to explain what’s happening.
If your little one’s mood is beginning to change, think about whether they need something from you, or whether they are struggling to communicate with you, before you react. If you’re able to help them to use their words to explain what they need – be it food, a cuddle or a certain toy, you can stop a meltdown in its tracks.
General Practitioner Dr Stephanie Ooi says:
Physical touch can be very powerful. Just like skin-to-skin helps calm new-borns from a physiological point of view, it can also help to calm down older children when they’re experiencing an emotional dysregulation.
Early Years Child Development Specialist Sophie Pickles adds:
Deep pressure touch is something lots of children enjoy; it can be really grounding and comforting to them. If they’re in the middle of a tantrum, wrapping yourself around them can really help to regulate their emotions.
If you can manage this early on, you can potentially stop a meltdown from escalating.
Early Years Child Development Specialist Sophie Pickles says:
Naming their feelings means verbalising what you see they’re feeling. You can say ‘I can see you feel upset because…’. Children then learn to link the word with the feeling, so they can start to express how they are feeling about situations.
Following a meltdown moment, try to verbalise it with your little one, and help them understand what they had been feeling and why. It will help them understand and manage their emotions next time.
Sometimes, no matter what you do, you won’t be able to prevent the meltdown or do anything to calm your child down until they’ve finished their outburst.
Early Years Child Development Specialist Sophie Pickles says:
It’s important to know that no matter how many strategies you know about and use, sometimes they just don’t work, and your child will still have that meltdown. And they’ll continue to have those tantrums – because it’s developmentally normal.
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