As a qualified teacher, mum, parenting coach and all-round Early Years expert, Sophie has a wealth of practical, real life experience to share with parents.
As a mum of two and a registered GP, Stephanie has seen more than her fair share of little ones! She has lots of practical tips and professional know-how on hand to help parents.
Katie is a mum of one, and also our resident Nutritionist. Bringing over 12 years’ experience, and a passion for infant weaning and nutrition to our Expert Panel.
Young children don’t have the words to communicate how they’re feeling. So, if your little one lashes out or shouts because somebody has taken their toy, it’s likely because they don’t know how else to express that they are upset.
Early Years Child Development Specialist Sophie Pickles says:
The best way parents can help their children with social communication is by modelling the behaviour to talk about how they’re feeling, and then naming the child’s feelings. For example, ‘I can see you’re feeling angry because that child has just taken your toy’. Over time they will start to realise what the feeling is, and they will begin to verbalise it.
Children’s brains can’t process information like adults, so it might take them a few goes to understand social development and modelling behaviour. You will probably find yourself guiding them through similar situations many times – but that’s not because they aren’t listening to you.
General Practitioner Dr Stephanie Ooi says:
It’s a very gradual process. It will take a lot of time. If you find yourself having to explain the same things again and again, that can be very normal. Just stick with it, you’ll get there.
Even just knowing the signs for ‘enough’, ‘done’ or ‘more’ will give your child that initial control and help to ease frustrations.
Instead of constantly asking for the ‘magic word’, try saying it yourself. When you give your child something, say “thank you mummy” and they will often parrot it back to you. If they don’t, then leave it and move on. Do it with other people, too, when your child is around to hear it.
Early Years Child Development Specialist Sophie Pickles says:
Children are just complete sponges, and they will copy what you’re saying. Over time, the more you model it, and the more you model it with other people when they’re listening, then the more likely they are to do it themselves. People comment on my boys and how good they are at remembering, but it’s only through the fact that they hear it all the time. They hear me and my husband being polite to each other in that way, and they copy us.
If something hasn’t gone to plan, it’s important to acknowledge it in front of your child. Try to explain what went wrong (i.e. you lost your temper or became frustrated), say you’re sorry for what you said (if you said something that upset them) and agree to try to do things differently next time.
If they don’t want to apologise to another child for their behaviour, then don’t force them. Make sure you say sorry on their behalf and that they hear you. Talk to them about why what they did was not okay. It’s important for children to understand what behaviour is acceptable, and if they hear you apologising, they are more likely to do so themselves when they need to in the future.
Kiddylicious Nutritionist Katie Angotti says:
It takes a huge amount of emotional intelligence to reflect back on your actions, feel sorry about it, and then choose to apologise.” Some children may take longer than others to show this behaviour without a prompt, but understanding the value of ‘sorry’ can be one of the most important elements of their social development.
Often, children need some time to themselves to reflect upon and process a certain situation or something they’ve done wrong. Sometimes, it’s perfectly fine to simply to give them the space to do so and support them with help or attention when they feel they need it.
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